I never thought that how I acted toward men could be defined as natural or unnatural. How it is natural to be submissive to men, or that a woman’s upbringing can cause her to go against her nature. The more I think about these things however the more it makes sense, and it makes me feel ashamed to have been ignorant of these facts until now. I realize that my own upbringing has led me to suppress my natural submissive tendencies, and that it is only through this training and enslavement that I can regain access to my submissive nature. That is why the relinquishment of all power and control over my life to Master Jillal is right and proper.
I want to be able to trust in my Master completely and obey his orders without hesitation. I can be an asset to my Master, I need to stop putting more importance on my doubts, wants, and fears and make him my greatest priority. I have to stop seeing myself as Anna bint Abdullah, and start to see myself as the property, possession, and slave of Master Jillal. To see my worth in how valuable a slave I can possibly be to him. Master Jillal is giving me a priceless gift; I just need to gain the courage to accept it.
In the short time I have corresponded with Master Jillal I have begun to notice more of the women around me both in college and at work. I hear and see how so many women truly believe they are equal, and in some cases better than men. I know that even if Master Jillal decided to let me go for whatever reason, I will not go back to how I saw the world before him. I will continue to try and become more submissive and to make myself into a valuable possession for any worthy man. I am choosing to by a completely weak, helpless and submissive slave in relation to my Master Jillal to whom I have rightfully relinquished all power and control.
Sincerely your devoted slave and property,
Anna bint Abdullah